Getting Unstuck – Pandemic Style Long before we had a pandemic it was not unusual for people to arrive at a space or time in their lives when they felt stuck. Now, with the current pandemic we have more people than before who are out of sorts and who are feeling stuck. The pandemic has caused catastrophic financial losses for many people around the world. There are businesses that will never reopen. You might be in a financial crisis personally and feel stuck about that. Millions and millions of people are in a position that they have never been in before and as a result they are at a loss for what to do. Then there is the emotional and psychological impact of being in a lock down or sheltering in place for months. Many people are feeling frightened, anxious, worried, fearful, angry, resentful, and so much more.
Many people don’t know how to deal with the emotions that they are feeling because most of us don’t get any training in how to deal with our emotions among other things. Feeling stuck or being stuck is separate and distinct from other emotions that I have written about thus far. It has its own unique cast. I wrote about dealing with your emotions in my post titled: “Disaster Relief: How to Flip the Switch on Your Emotions and Feel Better Now here. If emotions are weighing on you then you might find other help in my post titled “Worry and Fear Hurt Your Health: 15 Tips to Overpower Fear & Worry & Start Taking Risks here.
A huge number of people are now dealing with depression and my post titled “Dealing with Depression – 43 Tips to Help You Stave Off Depression”. It’s easy to see that many people might feel stuck right now. We had a fair number of people who felt stuck prior to the pandemic.
If you are having any thoughts whatsoever of harming or killing yourself, then please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 immediately or your state or local suicide hotline. You might be feeling like your life doesn’t matter – it does! You might be feeling like life is too hard – there’s help. As per my normal disclosure and waiver, I am not a licensed medical professional or therapist of any kind. You should always get your medical advice from a licensed medical professional. I know firsthand how hard life can be. Please tell someone. Please talk about it. You matter.
If you have never been in a position before where you felt stuck then this is brand new territory for you. However, for as long as human beings have been alive there have been situations and circumstances or events that propel people into feeling stuck. Let’s define being stuck as: in a difficult situation or unable to change or get away from a situation; unable to move, or set in a particular position, place or way of thinking; and caught or held in a position so that you cannot move. When people are feeling stuck it can be caused by circumstances or an event, like a pandemic. It can also be caused by less than empowering points of views or ways of thinking, attitudes or beliefs. It can be caused by a number of things to be frank.
Totally separate from the pandemic, I want to give you some of the events or circumstances that can cause people to feel stuck, which should give you a good idea that it’s just common. It just happens sometimes for different reasons. This is my own list from years of coaching and working with people.
Reasons Why People Get Stuck in Life
They suffered a loss or a trauma.
They had a bad childhood.
They suffered some abuse.
They were exploited or betrayed.
They experienced a divorce or a relationship breakup.
They lost a baby or a child.
They are a caregiver of any kind.
They feel trapped by their circumstances regardless of what the circumstances are.
They never learned the habits and practices for living life in a highly functional way.
They lack emotional skills and abilities.
They live in fear, anxiety, depression normally.
They had an accident or experienced a significant health problem.
They live life as a pessimist or have some other negative belief system.
They blame others for their plight in life.
They have anger, resentment or rage issues.
They live in a false reality or are in denial.
They don’t understand themselves and what makes them tick.
They have experienced broken promises or shattered dreams.
Life did not go the way that they had planned.
They lack motivation, support or the knowledge on how to get unstuck.
Here is the bottom line. It doesn’t matter what led you to be feeling stuck or how you got there. What matters is that you recognize that you are feeling stuck. Acknowledging that you are feeling stuck is the place to start. Just being able to say that you are feeling stuck can be very freeing especially if you don’t hold that as a bad thing. Being stuck is neither good nor bad. It’s just how some people feel. It’s not an empowering feeling to be sure. But it’s not bad or wrong to feel stuck. Feeling stuck week after week or month after month is not good for your emotional state or your health. So, while feeling stuck is neither good or bad – it is a state that you want to move out of by taking specific actions simply because it is not an empowering state to stay in.
What I have to offer you is the components for getting unstuck. I base this on years of helping people get unstuck because one of the primary reasons that people seek coaching is that of feeling stuck or unhappy with their lives. It’s not the only reason that people seek coaching, but it’s up there as a reason.
Components of Getting Unstuck:
Commitment to getting unstuck – There is no way around this so I will be direct. To get unstuck you have to have a firm, unwavering commitment that you are simply unwilling to tolerate being stuck any longer. There’s no room for half-heartedness. You have to be of the mindset that you are sick of it and ready for a change. Sometimes people will say that they are committed or that they are ready to make a change but they are really not ready, willing or committed. Having a steadfast resolute attitude to do whatever it takes is critical to getting unstuck.
Openness to ask for help/Get coaching/Findsupport – The reality is that if you are open to change and willing to do the work, you can find lots of valuable support for yourself. If you are open to getting unstuck you will find blog posts on this site to help you create a happy and fulfilling life regardless of how you are feeling even though they do not specifically deal with being stuck. One of the ways that I personally use my own blog is to help clients that I coach by assigning them to read my blog. It’s really quite handy for me. I wish I had thought of that back in 2005! It is likely that you have people in your life who would be happy to support you in getting unstuck if they knew that you wanted their help. While some people can get unstuck all by themselves, more often than not people need a little support to do what is necessary.
Do the work/Take the coaching – If you are open to getting unstuck then this won’t be so hard. Changing your life can be invigorating and fun. It simply doesn’t have to be hard or difficult. I believe in making life fun whenever and wherever I can. Why not? You could take on getting unstuck as a fun journey into growth and development. I mean you could do that. Or you could have it be some kind of chore. It’s your choice.
Do a reality check – Are you living a true reality or a false reality? Get grounded in a true reality. By the way, the whole concept of psychotherapy is talking with a licensed therapist to do a reality check and see if your map of life matches up with your real life. You don’t have to go into therapy to do a reality check. You can talk to your close friends or family, coworkers, neighbors, etc. and see what unfolds in the conversation.
Make a list of things that make you happy or bring you joy – Most people don’t have a handy list of the things that make them happy. Moreover, most people I coach really have to think about what makes them happy. So, if you don’t know what makes you happy then you are in good company. Think about it. Happiness doesn’t have to be an elusive concept. It’s available to everyone. Make a list of all the things that make you happy or bring you job. Then your job is to sprinkle your day with those things – here or there. This activity will not only help you get unstuck but is a lifelong habit that will help to give you a life that you love.
List and triage your problems or issues – Getting unstuck involves being able to be frank about what you are dealing with and beginning to deal with those issues or problems. Make a list of all that needs to be dealt with and then prioritize them. I like to call it triaging my tasks. Yes, that is a valid use of the word in case you are wondering. This can be confronting if you have a lot of problems or issues. I have great compassion if that is the case for you. I also know that being honest about your life and all that involves is the only way to create a powerful, happy and joyful life. This is also why I recommend that you have support as you move through the process of getting unstuck.
Begin to deal with your problems – Some people like to avoid problems and/or pretend they are not that bad. We call that minimizing your problems. That works in some cases for a little while however it is never a long-term solution and can lead to much bigger problems down the road. The best way to deal with problems is head on. Figure out what needs to be done. If you don’t know what to do then you could always research your problem. There are a multitude of resources available to you if you are open to it. Most people, even when faced with multiple, large-scale problems begin to feel better when they start making a plan for how to deal with their problems – even when they have huge problems.
What areas do you need to grow and developto move forward powerfully – Understanding what areas of yourself or your life you need to grow and develop is extremely powerful not just for getting unstuck but for life in general. I am personally a huge fan of personal growth and development. That is the substance of what I write about. If you are new to the concept of personal growth and development, I would love for you to look at my post titled “Top 45 Ways That Personal Growth & Development Will Help You Have a Life You Love”. Sometimes the reason a person feels stuck is because they have a life issue that they have never dealt with like low self-esteem, which is a very common life issue and you can read my post about that here. Growth and development will definitely help you not only get unstuck but it will also help you from getting stuck in the future! Now, that is what I am talking about!
Weekly support and accountability – In my humble experience, most people need regular support when they are embarking upon making a change to their life. So, if you want to be successful, then it’s always a good idea to have support. Who is going to hold you accountable for your commitments during the process of getting unstuck? You could subscribe to my blog and get my new posts by email. You could enlist a friend to go on a fun journey of changing your lives together. In a few weeks I will be announcing a special campaign with great giveaway items to help support people on their journey to a better life. An easier life. So, watch for that because I am committed to helping people not only get unstuck but having amazing and beautiful lives that the love.
Celebrate every single accomplishment – I mean: Every. Single. One. No kidding. When you take on making a change to your life it’s extremely important to celebrate every single thing you do to improve your life. Why not? There’s no reason not to acknowledge yourself and celebrate. It always feels good to celebrate so that’s just one more reason to do it.
Get a personal reward system – As soon as it is feasible, implement a personal reward system to help keep your motivation levels up. If you are like most people, this is a new concept to you! Not to worry, I have an entire blog post titled “Self-Motivation: The Nuts & Bolts of Leveling Up with a Reward System”. This is something that I have all of my coaching clients do early on. Why? Because it is effective. It supports you with motivation and gives you good feelings. I simply love this idea and use it myself as I have for many decades.
Rewire your brain – It can be extremely powerful to start rewiring your brain for success, which you can do with affirmations, tapping, prayer, meditation, and so on. Because of neuroplasticity of the brain, we now know that your brain can be rewired. It’s pretty exciting stuff. Sometimes people get stuck because they have disempowering thoughts about themselves like “I’m not good enough” or “No one cares about me” or “Nothing good ever happens to me” or anything else along those lines. Often those thoughts can be laying around in your subconscious mind. You will want to rewire your brain with more empowering, loving and positive messages.
Self-care is critical – Getting extra sleep, unless you are oversleeping because of depression or feeling stuck, increasing your nutrition and engaging in self-care is very important to helping you get unstuck. If you are not sure what I mean by self-care, I cover it in my post from January 30, 2020 titled “Self-Mastery, Self-Motivation, & Self-Care: The Holy Grail of Happiness & Joy here. I am a huge fan of doing whatever it takes to be healthy and well, and you can read more about health and wellness in my post on nutrition here. The more you take care of yourself and your body, the healthier you will be.
Go easy on yourself – It’s all too common that people are extremely hard on themselves expecting perfection or beating themselves up when they don’t get things right. Self-compassion not only feels better but is better for you. This is not an overnight process. Do your best to appreciate that you are doing what few people in the world will actually do – improve yourself and your life. Life is not about being perfect. Enjoy the journey.
Know that you CAN DO IT – Even if you don’t have the self-confidence or belief that you can do it – I know that you can! I am absolutely positive that you can do this. You can get unstuck. You can have a better and happier life. Trust me. And you are going to have to take specific actions to get unstuck. There is nothing magical to it. I am giving you the formula for getting unstuck knowing that you can do it. I am sure of it.
Learn to deal with, manage and process your emotions – Part of getting unstuck is learning to deal with how you are feeling. Learning to identify, deal with, manage and process your emotions is an extremely valuable skill set. Extremely valuable. You will find support from my post titled “Top 17 Benefits to High Emotional Intelligence and the 29 Traits of the People Who Have It”.
There’s no room for negative thinking or being a pessimist – It’s the old is the glass half full or half empty question. Which feels better to people? I still have half left? Or it’s halfway gone? It’s the same amount in the glass but clearly thinking you have half left is a more positive view. Negative thinking is never going to get you a powerful life. It’s just not. If you have a tendency towards negative thinking or being a pessimist, then I would recommend that you start working on changing that right away. The book titled “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale, which was written in 1952 is a classic that has helped millions of people.
Well, I could just stop there. Or could I? No. I am so committed to helping you get unstuck that I want to take a minute and give you the contrast of what I call the keys to a powerful, happy and contented life. This is just my list boiled down into the fewest points that I can and still feel like it is a complete list. In my humble opinion it gives you a glimpse of what you are striving for in the long term. Yes, this is completely doable. Yes, I actually live this way. And yes, I may be starting over at 58 years of age with basically nothing but I am happy. I have a rich life. I feel great and I am well loved.
Keys to a Powerful, Happy & Contented Life:
Know yourself. Or start getting to know yourself. The more you understand yourself the easier life is. The better you know yourself the more you can set your life up to make you happy and give you joy.
LOVE More. Focus on putting more love in your life. Love your friends. Love your family (if you can). Do things that you love or bring you happiness or joy. Be intentional to bring love and joy into your life.
Have guiding principles or a moral code to live by. To live a healthy and powerful life you need to either have religion or some moral code to live by. It has been written that people who either subscribe to a religion or believe in a higher universal power that dictates morality and behavior are psychologically healthier on average than those who do not (M. Scott Peck, M.D., People of The Lie).
Run your life with high integrity. Keep your promises. Do what you say you will do. If you can’t keep a promise then get in communication and say that. See my post on this titled “The Sheer Joy and Magic of Integrity” here.
Be intentional and design your life. Take back your power by being intentional and designing your life how you would like it to go. You only get one beautiful life. How you live it is up to you.
Increase your emotional intelligence. Learn how to process, manage and deal with your emotions.
Practice daily self-care.
Take care of your body. I promise you this – the better you take care of your body, the better it will work for you. I mean getting enough sleep, the right nutrition, walking several times a week or some other form of exercise and of course socializing as much as you can or want to.
Have boundaries. If you either don’t have or understand boundaries, it’s time to start.
Deal with your issues. If you have trust issues then deal with them. If you can’t be vulnerable, then deal with that. Whatever your issues are just deal with them.
Change how you view failure. If you viewed failure like Albert Einstein or Henry Ford you would probably try lots of new things and not particularly care if you failed or were successful. You could celebrate every failure because you took a chance.
Learn the habits and practices that will give you the life you want and deserve. What do you need to learn? What habits do you need to take on? Self-discipline? Self-motivation? Time management? Organization? Whatever it is – do it.
Call to Action If you want to get unstuck you will need to take actions to move yourself forward. There are over 38 other blog posts filled with information, habits, practices and more to help you create a powerful life. You really can get unstuck. You really can be happy. You can do this. I am here to help you. If this has been helpful in any way, please hit the share button to share this with your friends. And please let me know how I can support you in getting unstuck. Love, Lisa Lisa A. Lundy, B.S., DTM Blog Name: Love.Life.™ Blogsite: www.LisaALundy.com
Author of The Love.Life. ™ Book (Due out November 2020) Author of The Super Allergy Cookbook – Allergy & Celiac Cookbook (September 2007) Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisaalundy/