Do You Have these 8 Things That Will Help You Flourish in Life Regardless of What Happens? Hint: It’s not too late to get them!
The world and the largest percentage of the population is suffering in enormous and excruciating ways with the current pandemic. The level of uncertainty that exists has not been known to the majority of us living today. The negative emotions of fear, panic, anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, upset and so on seem to rule the day as does boredom for many. While the full emotional toll this has taken remains to be seen, the predictable outcome is extremely bad. This is a trauma for many and as such there are expected impacts as a result. The economic toll is unfathomable. It is a disaster that is catastrophic for too many people on a variety of levels. The present circumstances of the pandemic are impacting people differently. Some individuals are being much harder hit than others. Why is that? What does it take to flourish in life regardless of what is going on? What are the things that will help you function really well despite trauma or hardship?
As someone who has flourished in the face of trauma over and over again, I have some thoughts about the habits, practices, attitudes and so on that contribute to making people functional. If the concept of being functional is new to you then you can check out this post, which will help bring you up to speed.
Can you image feeling peaceful in times of great difficulty? Can you imagine being able to cause moments of happiness and joy in dark times? It is possible to be happy separate from your circumstances. It is a skill set that anyone can develop, which you can read about in my post on generating your own happiness.
Today I am distinguishing the top 8 things that – in my humble opinion – will help you flourish in life no matter what is going on. That does not mean, however that you will not have to grieve a loss, process sadness, or deal with your emotions. I am not saying that you will never be sad, unhappy or grieving a loss. What I am saying is that you can get to a certain level of skills, abilities, attitudes, practices and habits that will allow you to flourish even when you have suffered a huge loss. The fantastic and great news is that all of the things I am listing can be developed over time so there’s no reason to be blue if you are missing several or many of the items. In other words, it’s never too late to learn and grow. This is what I blog about and my passion – helping people be empowered and happy and love their life even when it’s hard.
Love involves or centers around gratitude, generosity, compassion. The world clearly could use more gratitude, generosity and compassion. Love your friends. Love your family. Love your neighbors. Love your hobbies. There’s so much to love in life. Open your heart and let love in. GIVE LOVE. Give of yourself generously. It’s so amazing and beautiful. And yes, there’s some risk to it. You can read more about LOVE and getting LOVE in your life in this post, which includes some of the risks to love and opening your heart and a separate post devoted to dealing with your trust issues because it’s hard to let love in if you can’t trust other people.
There are empowering attitudes and beliefs and there are disempowering attitudes and beliefs. To flourish in life, I believe that it’s very helpful to sort out any disempowering beliefs and attitudes you have and swap them for empowering beliefs and attitudes. Here are some examples of disempowering or negative beliefs or attitudes:
These beliefs or attitudes will never allow you to have a life that you love. They are not only negative, but they provide the basis for the self-fulfilling prophecy, which means whatever you believe will come true does in fact come true. In other words, it is exactly like the athletic coaches tell their players – if you think you can – you can. If you think you can’t then you can’t. If you have negative or disempowering beliefs and attitudes then you want to replace them with empowering ones. Over time you can convert your thinking. Over time. Not overnight. Here are some examples of empowering or positive beliefs or attitudes:
One way to change your thinking from disempowering beliefs or attitudes to empowering beliefs and attitudes is through the use of affirmations. I have a post that will give you some insight and more information on how your beliefs and attitudes can impact your health and on affirmations, which you can find here.
While I am not going to get into the aspects of character and what defines someone of good character, I am going to mention that I personally belief that integrity is at the core of having a life that works. I believe that integrity is a must. If you want to know more about how integrity can impact your life and help you have a life that leaves you feeling good, you can read my post on the magic of integrity. I am an absolute integrity freak. It is extremely important to me personally.
If I can be candid, most people don’t have a plan for their life. Most people don’t set goals on a regular basis. So, while it might not seem “normal” it is the path to having control over your life and having life go the way you want it to go – or at least more so than not. There are several aspects you have to consider in putting together a plan. You can find out more about the elements to think about in this post.
While children typically have high self-esteem that often declines through adolescence and teen years, there are things that can cause self-esteem to plummet at any age including: unsupportive parents or caregivers, friends who are bad influences, stressful life events like divorce, moving, trauma or abuse, and mood disorders like depression or anxiety. The higher you can get your self-esteem the easier your life will be. And there are things you can do to improve your self-esteem.
Self-care is very important and, in my opinion, relates to self-esteem. Some people with low self-esteem can’t generate the interest or don’t have the ability to care for themselves, which makes sense to me based on what I know. Self-care is extremely important if you want to have a great life.
Whatever you can do to increase your self-esteem and engage in self-care will be extremely helpful.
Loneliness and social isolation increase premature death by up to 50% making it a bigger threat than obesity according to two meta-analyses from Brigham Young University. Social isolation is defined as a lack of contact with other individuals. Loneliness is described as a feeling that one is emotionally disconnected from others, so you can feel lonely even if you are in a group of people. Compelling research by J. Tanskanen and T. Anttila (Am J Public Health 2016 November; 106(11): 2042-2048. NCBI.NIM.NIH.GOV) indicates that a lack of social connections is as influential a mortality risk as traditional health-related indicators such as alcohol, smoking or obesity.
What this means is that having friends, family, neighbors to connect with, even if it is by telephone or a remote connection, is extremely important if you want to be healthy. It means that we should all make connecting with other human beings a priority. Let me put it another way, if you want to be healthy then you need to be connecting with people. I know that can be difficult for some people. I understand that. So get paired up with a friend or family member who will drag you out to things because some people just need a nudge.
For some of you that might mean that you need to make new friends. I have always been a big fan of having good friends. Making friends is difficult for many people, but you can learn ways to make new friends. Now that applies more than ever before.
I summarized the top 17 benefits to having high emotional intelligence, and it is really amazing stuff.
While you are working on growing your emotional intelligence or quotient, there are things you can do that will help you. One of those things is to learn how to change your emotional state by “Flipping the Switch”, which I have a blog post devoted to because it is a game changer. That will help you right now.
Call to Action:
What can you do today that will make your life better or help you feel better? Are you willing to do that? Was this article helpful to you in some way? If so, please share it on social media! If not, what is missing or how can I be helpful to you? My mission is to help people live lives that they LOVE. Are there any areas that you are struggling with? Let me know in the comment section – as in here is what I would love to read about in your next blog post (or whatever you have to say).
I am here to love you along the way. I know that life is hard. Trust me – I know. Yet I also know that life can be delicious and joyful more often than not. Sending you love and good energy!
Lisa A. Lundy, B.S., DTM
Blog Name: Love.Life.™
Author of The Love.Life. ™ Book (Due out November 2020)
Author of The Super Allergy Cookbook – Allergy & Celiac Cookbook (September 2007)
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