The Coronavirus Tipping Point: Which Way Will You Tip?

The Coronavirus Tipping Point: Which Way Will You Tip? The largest percentage of the world’s population is in the vice grips of a host of negative emotions including fear, anxiety, depression, worry, anger, resentment, and a sense of helplessness among others. Many people are unmotivated, bored, unhappy, struggling to get through the day and just unsure of what to do. That is completely reasonable. Life as we knew it has disappeared and has been replaced by uncertainty. We have never been in this position before or at least most of us have not. This is familiar territory for me. This is the commodity that I trade in: how to deal with horrific hardship and be happy and well in the face of severe adversity. My life has been anything but easy for the last 25 years dealing with 3 concurrent traumas for much of that time – all out of my control. I know what it is to be forced to home school three children for much of 15 years. I know what it is like to start over at age 58 with pretty much nothing. I know what it is like to be forced to borrow money to pay 72% of the marital debt while you are unemployed in a state where marital debt is split 50/50 and the other party is making significant money. Trust me, I know the meaning of having the rug pulled out from under you and having your entire world upended. I totally get it.

Humility in Chaos

It is extremely humbling. And humility is a gift. Sometimes you have to have your world turned upside down to get the Grace of humility. Humility is gift often arriving after some disaster or catastrophic loss. I am lucky because I had the coping skills, habits and practices to deal with multiple concurrent traumas and not be disabled or ruined by it. I had the attitudes and beliefs as well as emotional skills to not be crushed by what I went through. I am extremely fortunate in that regard. I am also a better person for having been through it although I would never wish it on anyone. I have a tremendous sense of urgency to help people because I understand the things that people need to do to come out of this and be okay or flourish. I have an unwavering commitment to help people get through this because I see that as possible for people. This Coronavirus pandemic provides a tipping point for individuals, families, businesses and organizations as well as entire nations. The question is which way will you tip?

What Is a Tipping Point?

The tipping point is defined as the point at which a series of small changes or incidents becomes significant enough to cause a larger, more important change. A tipping point is the critical point in  an evolving situation that leads to a new and irreversible development. Another way to explain a tipping point is that it is a turning point. This coronavirus pandemic offers you a turning point in your life and which way you tip is largely dependent upon what you do today, tomorrow, in the next week and in the coming months.

How to Tip Positively

Regardless of how functional you were before the pandemic – this situation offers you a turning point or a chance to make your life better. This offers you the time to reflect upon what you want in your life or don’t want in your life. It is a rare pause that you can take advantage of if you choose. Several things will help you tip this situation in your favor. Psychological resilience is the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly. The condition of resilience happens or exists when a person uses mental processes and behaviors in taking care of oneself and protecting oneself from the possible negative impact or effects of the crisis or stressors. This is exactly what my last 6 blog posts have been devoted to. What do you need to do to not only survive the Coronavirus pandemic but to flourish? What are the things you need to be doing? How are you going to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually? According to Courtney E. Ackerman, MSc. In her 9/26/2019 article titled “How to Measure Resilience with These 8 Scales”, there are 10 components of Resilience. You can find her full article here. Here is her list of the components:

Components of Resilience

1. Optimism
2. Altruism
3. Moral Compass
4. Faith & Spirituality
5. Humor
6. Having a role model
7. Social supports
8. Facing fear
9. Meaning or purpose in life
10. Training

Wow. That’s great some of you are thinking. I know that most of you are not feeling optimistic at the moment. I understand. You might not be able to find much humor in life right now. And it is painfully obvious that too many people are feeling fearful and panicked. The issue is not how you are feeling right now, the issue is that you are probably not dealing with your feelings. The issue is that most people don’t know how to deal with, process and manage their emotions. This is a definite skill that you can learn. I would assert that learning how to deal with, process and manage your emotions is the most powerful or one of the most powerful gifts you could ever give yourself because once you have that skill – you have it for life. Your emotions control much of your life. Do you know how to manage or control your emotions? You can learn to change your emotions on a dime, in what I call “Flipping the Switch”. I am a huge fan of what is called high emotional intelligence or high emotional quotient and have blogged about that too. If you want to learn how to master your emotions, I would start with these posts on that subject:

1. Disaster Relief: How to Flip the Switch on Your Emotions and Feel Better Now!
2. The Juicy Good Parts of the Coronavirus PLUS the Top 52 Things You Can Do to Make This a Good Thing in Your Life Now
3. The ONE Coronavirus Article That Could Change Your Life for the Better Forever
4. 17 Potential Gifts of the Pandemic & the Top 29 Tips to Help You Get Through It

Signs You May Lack Resilience

The feelings associated with a lack of resilience include anger, sadness or depression, guilt, anxiety or fear and embarrassment say authors of the book The Resilience Factor, Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte (2002). Guess what a lot of people are feeling right now? Yes. Anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, and so on. To be able to get back on track, even with things in a state of uncertainty, you need to be able to shift your emotional state. Otherwise you are simply stuck feeling bad. Unmotivated. Unhappy. I call being able to change your emotional state “Flipping the Switch”. And I refer to the actions necessary to offset a negative situation counterbalancing. You need to counterbalance the negativity in the world or in your life right now. Counterbalancing negativity works extremely well. So you have the Coronavirus pandemic at the moment, which you can’t control and is obviously negative. You can counterbalance the negativity of the Coronavirus pandemic by engaging in self-care, making phone calls to family and friends, spending time working on a hobby, or any number of things. In fact, in my March 15^th, 2020 post I listed 52 things you could do to make your life better – all of which fall under the counterbalancing category. Put things into your day that make you happy. While that is not going to change the external world and what is happening it will change your mood, your feelings and what you are able to accomplish. Life is hard. There is no doubt about that. Life is also beautiful, fun, sweet, memorable. Life is what you make it. You can sit around and do nothing just waiting for things to go back to “normal” or the “new normal” or you can grab life by the hand and rush headlong into planning your delicious and fabulous future. For me it’s always about carpe diem – seize the day. Make hay while the sun shines. Live. Laugh. Love. Especially the love part. Why the heck not? It feels better and is way more fun than being the victim to the circumstances. We are all in this together and together we can do anything.

Concluding Thoughts

Two questions come to mind here. How resilient are you? And, how happy were you really before the Coronavirus pandemic? We know that a very significant percentage of the world was unhappy prior to the pandemic. We know this because of the volume of researchers who research happiness and how to be happy and as a subset the amount of unhappiness people experience. If you were not that happy prior to the Coronavirus, then this is a chance for you to re-evaluate, reassess, reconsider how you live your life. This could be a tipping point for your life to change for the better. Contact me for help! Which way will the Coronavirus pandemic tip you? Will you be able to find the silver lining for yourself? Will you be able to grow and develop new skills and abilities that make your life so much better? Will you grow your coping skills? Will you work on self-care? Can you find your way to seeing that you have control over how this pandemic affects you in the future? How can I help you? What do you need to be well supported? I want you to make it through this with flying colors looking back at the awful mess and be able to say that you learned from it, you grew from it and your life is better as a result. I believe that can happen. Let me help you!
Love,
Lisa