LOVE in the Midst of Chaos – And, Yes I love you!
The obvious question some of you might have right now is how could I love you if I have not even met you? How could I love you if I don’t even know you? The answer to that question lies in my deep-seated sense of humanity. When you get the human condition and have a big sense of humanity then it is easy to LOVE. When you have dealt with your own issues and can accept yourself for who you are it is much easier to LOVE everyone for who they are, which is a separate distinction for loving people for what they do for you, what they have, and so on. Everyone wants to be loved and valued and to be accepted for who they are. I can say that I love you even though I don’t know you because I know who I am, I love and accept myself (not in a hubris filled or narcissistic way), and I have compassion for the human condition and life itself. I actually deeply love people and humanity.
Two essential questions have been pondered, researched and written about since the beginning of time from what I can tell. Those two questions are: (1) What is the meaning of life? and (2) What am I here for? Or what is my purpose in life? It seems to me that the greatest thinkers and philosophers of all time have written about that. It appears that every generation throughout time have pondered those two exact questions. I am not a philosopher, in fact I don’t even think that I did very well in a college philosophy class, however those two questions have captivated me and held my attention for decades.
From my perspective, the meaning of life is all about LOVE. Giving love. Receiving love. Loving your life, your friends, your family, what you do on a daily basis, your coworkers, your neighbors, your hobbies and organizations. For me, LOVE is at the core of everything that I do – or almost all of it. Love is the most powerful of emotions and causes people to get out of their own way and do extraordinary things – for either the people that they love or for society and humanity. Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Mother Teresa are examples of people who have gotten out of their own way and done what was needed for the love of their cause, the love of their people, or the love of the world.
I believe that my purpose in life is to bring LOVE into the lives of the people I come into contact with and to help others LOVE their LIFE. I believe in loving people. I believe that LOVE is very healing, delightful and fun. I also am well aware that love, in the context of either platonic friendships or romantic relationships, involves risk. The risk of rejection. The risk that your offer of friendship will not be returned in kind or returned at all. The risk of loss and of betrayal. Yes, there is no doubt that love in either context involves some risk.
Young children, unless they are abused or grow up in a very toxic and unhealthy living environment where they are not well cared for or where their needs are not met, are usually very loving, care-free, and open. Children walk around curious and filled with wonder about the world – until they have their first experience of shame or some incident where they are left feeling abandoned or not good enough. It happens at various ages for children. Then they become more cautious, guarded, not so open and less willing to take risks. It’s just kind of the evolution of human beings. It is both my experience and assertion that you can heal your past hurts, wounds and traumas and become open to love and letting love be the field that you play in.
Of course, I have had many hurts, betrayals of a significant level, and loss over my lifetime. Yes, because you know that if someone is 58 years old and starting over in life with pretty much nothing that something bad happened. That’s probably very obvious. I am never going to stop loving people. Loving my life. Sharing love. It’s too wonderful to give up. I know some of you gave up on real love a long time ago and for probably very good reason(s). I can totally understand that. You are not wrong for that. I am simply inviting you to a new way of looking at life and love.
In the midst of the chaos that is enveloping the world, there has never been a better time for healing and love in my humble opinion. There are more people suffering in the world right now than just a few months ago. There are more people who need to feel love and be loved right now than in the past. Bringing LOVE to the table in the midst of the chaos is just what is called for – says me. I know. Who do I think I am? Nobody. Just someone who has a lot of experience, both good and bad, with love. And I am still a huge fan of love.
The chaos offers you the opportunity to reconsider where you stand about love. It offers those of you who are not working or even those of you who are still working the gift of time to contemplate love and where love is present in your life or where love is missing. We are all given this one precious life to live however we choose. Some people make bad choices and don’t treat others well. Some people get so badly wounded at some point in their lives that they just put up walls and don’t let people in. And there is a lot of in between. It’s not all or nothing for some people.
What is the meaning of life for you? I am well aware that is not a question that too many people think about. Oh, trust me, I know that. What if you could use this chaos to redesign your life to be more pleasing to you? What if you could have more love in your life – either through friendships or a romantic relationship? What if you could love more parts of your life than you love right now? Given the level of unhappiness, anxiety, depression and other problems that was present in the world before the chaos – I assert that, prior to the chaos, too many people were living their lives in a way that didn’t make them happy.
This is the core essence of what I write about and speak about – how to design your life in a way that inspires you and makes you happy as well as the habits, practices, skills and attitudes that will leave you functioning well no matter what happens. It boils down to being able to be happy with your life and able to deal with hardship and unexpected turns in life. My last 4 blog posts were specifically designed to help you deal with the pandemic and help give you tools and tips to get through it. There are over 33 blog posts to help you start living a life that you are both happy with and would be proud to have lived.
One of the biggest fears about love is rejection. You want to make new friends but are concerned about being rejected, which is a reasonable fear because that happens from time to time. Or perhaps you want to be in a romantic relationship or just start dating but you are worried about being rejected. Again, a reasonable consideration. But here’s the thing about rejection. You don’t have to take it personally. Yes, you might be rejected if you try to make a new friend or group of new friends. You might be rejected if you start dating or even if you begin a new relationship. IF you find yourself rejected in either case, what IF you said to yourself, well God has better people HE wants me to meet? Or there is someone better for me to date. What if you stopped taking the rejection like there was something wrong with you?
I am suggesting that you stop taking rejection as if you were not good enough. You ARE good enough. You are already good enough. Maybe you could grow and develop. Maybe you could adopt some new habits and practices to make your life happier. Maybe you could look inward and find happiness within yourself. If you are waiting to be happy until you have a perfect life, or until you have that perfect relationship – good luck with that. I don’t support that philosophy although you are clearly welcome to keep that way of thinking.
If you were willing to accept that rejection of any kind DOES NOT mean that you are not good enough, I assert that your whole world would change. I assert, as someone practiced and skilled at being rejected (not kidding), that you would experience a whole new freedom in life. You would be willing to take more risks and I say that you would have more love in your life. To get there might mean doing what I call the work on yourself. It might mean growing and developing. It might mean healing past hurts or wounds. It might mean developing better coping mechanisms for life. It might mean a few different things. Who knows what it would take for you to change your view of rejection? I don’t know what it will take for you to do that. I do know that what I write about will help you get there over time.
Loss and betrayal are two other components that prevent people from allowing love into their lives. Yes, having LOVE in your life might mean a potential loss or betrayal. I have written about loss and betrayal in a post titled The Power & Magic of Vulnerability: Top 10 Ways You Can Start Increasing Your Ability to be Vulnerable, March 10, 2020, because to be vulnerable you have to deal with that on some level. Being able to trust is a part of allowing love into your life and you can find out about how to deal with that in my post titled LOVE Involves Trust: Why It’s Time to Deal with Your Trust Issues, February 28, 2020. The other post that deals with LOVE that might be helpful to you is titled Living Life with Your Whole Heart September 2019. The post titled Love & Miracles – How to Get More Love & Miracles in Your Life, January 8, 2020 also relates to this topic of LOVE. Can you tell that I LOVE anything to do with LOVE? Chuckling to myself. It’s true.
I know exactly who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin. I accept my imperfections and how I am as well as how I am not. I am just me doing life the best that I can. I am crystal clear that some people don’t like me. I am too happy, too organized, too loud, too colorful, to this and too that for some people. I mean I am clear that I get on some people’s nerves quite easily. I am fine with that. I mean I never intentionally annoy people because that’s not my style. I have a tribe of people who accept me for who I am and who love me dearly. I am blessed beyond measure. I treasure life. I treasure people. I treasure humanity and everyone in it. I am passionate about living life to the fullest and being happy!
Where do you stand with LOVE? What is the meaning of life to you? What are you here for or what is your purpose in life? Are you willing to go on a delicious journey to create a life filled with love and happiness? Are you willing to let go of the past? Are you willing to hit the re-set button and start anew? Are you willing to let love in? Are you willing to be happy? Are you open to love?
It’s really your choice on how you live your life. I am well aware that there are some people who are so attached to negativity and unhappiness that they just can’t let go of that. We probably all know people who fit that description. You did not choose this chaos. You did not choose to have your life upended and the rug to be pulled out from under you. Nobody chose that. You do get to choose how you react to it. You do get to choose how you will move forward. You do get to choose if you are going to make any changes to your life as a result of it. You do get to choose if this chaos will permanently disrupt your life or IF it will be the start of something better.
With the state of things and all of the chaos, we need love now more than ever. We need the healing touch of love. We need the generosity of love. We need the kindness of love. We need the united feeling love can provide. We need people to stretch themselves to be better. We need love in generous amounts spread all around. We need to help people like never before. We need people to love each other and be kind.
I know times are hard. I am an expert in hard times. Trust me. You have no idea. I want you to have a wonderful life. Even though I don’t know you, I feel love for you. I am here to help you find your way through the chaos to love. Are you willing to go on the journey? How can I support you? What are you struggling with? What do you need to be successful? What is stopping you? Please let me know!
Lisa A. Lundy, B.S., DTM
Blog Name: Love.Life.™
Author of The Love.Life. ™ Book (Due out July 2020)
Author of The Super Allergy Cookbook – Allergy & Celiac Cookbook (September 2007)
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